She tiptoes softly to edge of his bed and looks down at him sleeping so peacefully. Reaching down she gently traces the outline of his lips his chin his nose his eyes.
Moving his hair she leans down and softly kisses his forehead.
She sits down ever so gently on the edge of the bed so that she doesn't wake him and watches his chest rise and fall as he sleeps. Moving a little closer she lay's her head on his chest so she can hear the beating of his heart. She lies there and she wonder's what it is that makes her love him so much. He stirs in his sleep and she softly kisses his lips one last time. She knows it's time for her to leave.
She looks up and summons an angel down. She calls the angel over and say's I want you to take good care of my love, He's very special you see. He's my only love and he means the world to me. I've loved him almost from the start why I cannot say. There's just something about him and he has a certain way. I said I'd never leave him and Angel you know it's true...But I never see him and I don't know what to do. Fly close to him Dear Angel and keep him safe from harm and every now and then let him hear the flutter of your wings so he'll know that I am near. I'm leaving now Dear Angel it's time for me to go and will you please when he wakes up tell him that I love him so.
The Black Hole
I can't remember when I first fell in I just turned
around one day and went spinning around and around as if I were free falling and when I hit bottom I hit it hard. Looking up and not seeing anything but
blackness no light, no air, no movement in there.
Alone with just me and the demons that have haunted me for so long. I am completely engulfed in darkness. Worthlessness overwhelms me. Holding my hand up in front of me I can't see it and I think, this is it. This is where I belong. Maybe now the pain will stop. I want to stand up but I can't. Every time I try the bottom drop's out from under me. I go spiraling down faster and faster until suddenly I know nothing.
Opening my eyes and not wanting to because I know what's coming. The memories and the tears, it seems as if I am drowning in tears.The safe and comforting arms are gone, replaced by memories of long ago strewn all across the floor. It all went round and round in my head The longing to have it all back became to much and I take the only way out that I know how to do. I sleep and as I sleep the darkness comes again and I know nothing.
There's a stranger down inside of me
She comes from deep within
She knows all about me
And everywhere I've been
She raises her ugly little self
And fills me full of doubt
And makes me feel as if
I don't know what I'm all about
She fills me full of restlessness
And makes me feel discontent
I'm beginning to wonder now
What my life has really meant.
Memories keep pushing up and I keep pushing down
Seems like the memory's keep swirling round and round.
It's frightening when I can't control them,
its such a heavy load,
All I really want to do is simply to explode.
A poem for my son Kristopher
I'll hear you on the wind at midnight Christmas eve.
I'll stand in awe as I hear the magic that you weave
You left us such a long time ago and in my heart I know
Of all the love and joy you spread in heavens golden glow
Kris, go and find your tiny neice Makayla.
She shouldn't be to far.
She's the tiny little baby girl sitting just right of the shiniest star.
Give her hugs and kisses and hold on to her hand til we can all be together again, in the promised land.
My little Brother Billy
was such a tiny soul
he came and went so quickly
for reasons we do not know
I think about him often and wonder
to this day what kind of man he would
have been had he not gone away
December 8th 1955
December 24th 2005
Somewhere in a dream I saw you
I can't remember it clearly but I know it was you
I saw you standing proud and tall
it was as if you hadn't died at all.
No loneliness nor pain etched on your face
Not even a trace
How handsome you looked with the wind blowing
ruffling your hair.
I called out to you standing there
I wanted to tell you that I did care
We had so many memories to share
You turned and smiled at me
and I could see that sweet smile
that I had always loved since you
were a child
The tears came and blinded me.
And when I had wiped them
from my eyes so I could see
You were gone and I was left with nothing but the memory.
I am a sensitive and empath.I have a strong faith in God. I believe in Angels and the here after. I also believe we are all here for a purpose and until that is fulfilled we will remain here. Be patient with me for God is not finished with me yet. I am a born again christian. Please remember, I am still human and no where near perfect.
Things I enjoy doing
surfing the net, exploring cemeteries, rambling thru the woods, hanging out at the river and driving off into where ever I end up at,the paranormal,spending time with my grand children photography,reading,watching TV,listening to music meeting/making new friends and hangin out at PLS
Do you ever wonder
Do you ever wonder what I'd be today
if the angels hadn't come and taken me away.
Do you ever wonder what I'd have to say about
the things that have gone on since I left that day
Do you ever wonder what my thoughts were as I sighed
and then looked up and saw them waiting there right before
Just in case you've wondered let me put your mind at ease
I'd be everything you wanted me to be because it was you
I wanted to please.
My thoughts were of sadness and confusion
wondering what I'd done and knowing the pain
my death was going to cause those I had to leave behind
I wondered how you'd handle the pain of having to
let me go and I didn't know what to do.
I asked God to help you because I wanted you to
know that as I drew my last breath my final thought was
Memories softly floating down
landing gently on the ground
Slowly swirling round and round
close your eyes and hear the sound
as they softly wrap you in the glow
of memories from long ago
They gently soothe your aching soul
Memories floating softly down
landing gently on the ground
"In and Out of Time"
"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant;
They too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the council of the years,
Gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a healthy discipline,
Be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here,
and whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
Whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Strive to be happy."
Ghosts of Dreams
WE are all of us dreamers of dreams,
On visions our childhood is fed;
And the heart of a child is unhaunted, it seems,
By ghosts of dreams that are dead.
From childhood to youth's but a span,
And the years of our life are soon sped;
But the youth is no longer a youth, but a man,
When the first of his dreams is dead.
'Tis a cup of wormwood and gall,
When the doom of a great man is said;
And the best of a man is under a pall
When the best of his dreams is dead.
He may live on by compact and plan
When the fine bloom of living is shed,
But God pity the little that's left of a man
When most of his dreams are dead.
Let him show a brave face if he can;
Let him woo fame and fortune instead;
Yet there's not much to do, but to bury a man
When the last of his dreams is dead.
William Herbert Carruth
I'd like the
memory of me to be a